literature

I need a friend

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MyLoveForYouEternity's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

I need a friend
to understand what I went through
I need a friend
when I feel alone in this world

I need a friend like you
when things don't go my way
a friend that was there from the beginning
that never once left my side

I need a friend in this world
to not feel this pain anymore
I need someone like you in my life
but one day you walked away from me

All I need in this world
to always have a friend by my side
I used to have a friend in this world
but like everyone else

You walked away from me....
...
© 2013 - 2024 MyLoveForYouEternity
Comments14
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kitteneyes207's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

This piece was really good, I could definitly relate to this poem do to expirience. Really, the repatition in your work definatley makes the mood more powerful.
The vison and the impact were the two best things and parts of this piece.
The originality was really strong but I don't neccisarily think it deserves 5 stars.
The technique was "okay" only because you used simple word and phrases and I think you could have used better, stronger words.
But besides the technique, the poem was really great and I think if you write things as good or better than this, you could do great things.