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Literature Text
I need a friend
to understand what I went through
I need a friend
when I feel alone in this world
I need a friend like you
when things don't go my way
a friend that was there from the beginning
that never once left my side
I need a friend in this world
to not feel this pain anymore
I need someone like you in my life
but one day you walked away from me
All I need in this world
to always have a friend by my side
I used to have a friend in this world
but like everyone else
You walked away from me....
to understand what I went through
I need a friend
when I feel alone in this world
I need a friend like you
when things don't go my way
a friend that was there from the beginning
that never once left my side
I need a friend in this world
to not feel this pain anymore
I need someone like you in my life
but one day you walked away from me
All I need in this world
to always have a friend by my side
I used to have a friend in this world
but like everyone else
You walked away from me....
Literature
My Immortal Friend
Where are you,
my sweetest friend?
When did our friendship
come to an end?
I don't remember much,
but I know you're there.
I can feel your presence,
heavy in the air.
My immortal soul,
you should be gone.
Your heart stopped beating.
Your time is done.
And yet you stay,
unseen but not unknown.
Do you still recognize me?
I know I've grown.
Were you always here,
or did you just come back?
Why can't I see you?
Is there something I lack?
He sees you though.
I know it's true.
His innocent eyes
always pointed towards you.
Are you his friend now?
What happened to me?
Did we have a fight?
Just let me see.
I don't understand.
What went wrong?
W
Literature
Mother Knows Best
There is too much smoke
residing in those noxious lungs of yours;
you've inhaled one too many
cigarettes.
How do tar-coated fangs taste
when all you do is howl at
waning, unstable moons?
Just like the she wolf
you wish you were;
but your cub,
she just wants to sing
to ink-wrought stars.
Literature
My smile
My smile was once so easy,
a thing of joy and pride,
but over these years of darkness,
the ease has slowly died.
I find it's no longer truth,
but simply a lying mask.
It hides away the misery,
the hauntings of my past.
I refuse to look at pictures.
I see what others ignore.
The uneasiness of my smile.
How it has turned into a chore.
Will I ever truly smile,
with joy, pride, and truth,
or will I never know a smile?
Will it die with the rest of my youth?
Please, i wish to laugh,
to smile without a care,
but I'm not good enough for this,
and I guess that is fair.
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Comments14
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
This piece was really good, I could definitly relate to this poem do to expirience. Really, the repatition in your work definatley makes the mood more powerful.
The vison and the impact were the two best things and parts of this piece.
The originality was really strong but I don't neccisarily think it deserves 5 stars.
The technique was "okay" only because you used simple word and phrases and I think you could have used better, stronger words.
But besides the technique, the poem was really great and I think if you write things as good or better than this, you could do great things.