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You Destroyed MeI wish you understood,
that you were my friend
But you found so many ways,
to rip my heart into pieces..
You used to be there,
you always helped me stand tall.
But now I see that these were lies,
you never cared about me at all...
I thought of you as a friend,
but your just like everyone else.
Now just leave me alone in this world,
and watch me suffer into the night.
I lost so many people,
I am better off alone.
You were my friend,
but you destroyed the only thing that mattered.
You destroyed my trust,
you destroyed my life.
so leave me the hell alone,
and watch me suffer in this world alone..
Is what we have Real?I yearn to hold you,
to be with you for all eternity.
I yearn to love you
to show you what we have is real..
But is it truly real?
Or is what we have is fake?
I year to hug you,
to love you forever
To be with you always
to always be a part of your life.
I yearn to say "i love you"
to be in your life forever
I want to be your only
to be the one for you
cause what we have is real
And when I don't have you
I am lost in this world alone..
My DestinyI'm a loner cause I dont trust.
I smile on the outside but dead on inside.
I have many weaknesses, but also strengths.
I wish someone would understand so I dont feel alone.
But everyone is clueless and Im left alone.
Maybe this is my destiny.
Maybe Im better off alone..
Better off AloneI don't have hopes. I don't have dreams.
I am a Nobody. I am a Failure
I don't see the light, I only see the Darkness.
I am better off alone, away from this world.
I don't trust. I don't believe in anything.
Maybe I will be alone forever, cause it was always meant to be.
I used to love someone, now I am in pieces.
I don't see a point to life, I only see a mistake I am.
I have many weaknesses, but i know my strengths.
Maybe one day I will be strong enough,
but until that day comes, im dead to the world.
Cause without the one I cared for, I dont see a point in Living
EverydayEveryday the pain consumes
More and more as time passes by
Everyday I start to give up,
the more the pain has burden inside...
Everyday I lose hope in life
Abuse after abuse
trauma after trauma,
I dont see hope left in my life..
Everyday I lose my grip,
i feel more sadness, than ever felt before...
But everyday I pretend to smile..
than maybe this pain will be gone forever
But this was a lie that I told myself,
the pain is still inside me..
and these memories still arise.
Everyday I will try to smile...
maybe one day it will be gone for good..
Everyday it makes struggles in my life,
but not a moment to spare, i find ways to cope..
So everyday I will fake a smile,
not cry a single tear..
Maybe in the end I will become strong...
and maybe an Angel will take me high above.
Cause in the end, I dont deserve this pain
Maybe the sadness will so disappear.
So everyday I will fake a smile...
and maybe one day, someone will take this pain away...
Inside my HeartEven though we are miles apart
You are never that far from my Heart
If I should wait awhile
I will be here waiting for you
Even though we can't see each other
you can't feel me, and I can't feel you
I know that this is real
the moment my heart beats for you
You are the love of my Life
even though we are far away
I love you dearly
with all my heart
Step into my heart
and be in a safe spot
cause the moment you are here
I can feel you a thousand ways
I know you aren't beside me
throughout the day
But I always think of you
and you take my breath away
So stay close to my heart
it is where you belong
cause even though we are miles away
You are always close deep inside my Heart
You're the love of my LifeI never really knew you
you were just another friend of mine
someone that always cared about me
more then anybody else in this world
You were always there for me
and this is what has guide us
as we have grown so close together
Love has a different story to all
Fate has brought us together
and it has been said to all
that love is an amazing feeling
and it has always been right
You have made it to my heart
a place where nobody could ever reach
You told me I had a purpose to live
and that purpose was to be right beside you
There is no place where I feel loved
not in this world we all known as hell
but with you right beside me
I will always have the love within my life
You have proved that you meant every word
and i have got to say this was best of all
there is no words to express how i feel
but baby it is true
You are the Love of my Life
Need to Feel PainI feel the hurt
every time I look back
the Pain I always feel
deep inside me
I always have these urges
that I need to feel pain...
it was the only true feeling I felt
and without it I'm lost in this world
I want to cut my arms...
I want to cut my legs
just to watch the blood pouring
and to feel the pain deep inside
I want to hurt...
to know that I can feel in this world
I need to feel pain...
its like a drug to me...
The cuts I love
the pain i can feel
I just want my arms to bleed
and to feel the scars....
Cutting every inch of me
just to feel the pain deep inside
To watch the blood pour down...
on the body that deserves pain....
Just to FeelI would cut
just to feel the pain
just to know
that my life was worth it
Every inch on my arm
every inch on my leg
I would cut
just to feel the pain deep inside
To watch the blood pour down
to cry in happiness
I would cut
just to know that I still feel
Cutting my skin
burning it completely
I would suffer in agony
just to see if I still feel
Every scar that is there
every inch that I cut
it just proves
how much my life was worth it
I would cut
just to feel the pain
to know that Im still alive
to know that I still feel
Feeling of pain
feeling of torture
I would cut
to know that I still feel
In this world...
Showing YourselfShowing yourself doesn't make you weak.
I'll give you exactly what you seek.
This vulnerability is a part of you.
There isn't anything you can do.
I'm only here to give you help.
Don't have to do it by yourself.
It doesn't matter what you say.
I promise that I'm here to stay.
When you find it's hard to breathe,
Let me be there to relieve.
Want you to know I don't think less.
Only you think that you're a mess.
Please, I just want to be here.
I really do love you, dear.
...Broken...The sadness in her eyes
As she cries herself to sleep
What woes are in her heart
That cause her soul to weep
The joy that she once had
That filled her heart with glee
Is locked away inside
And someone lost the key
The lies which you once told
Caused her heart to break
So now you lie asleep
While she is wide awake
The eagles up above
The fish that swim below
The truth which you once hid
The world now ought to know
All creatures of the earth
Gather here once more
We'll fix these broken wings
Now watch her spirit soar
A Broken SoulA Broken Soul
One more broken soul
Laying shattered on the floor
Inside cut by cruel words.
Outside cut by the sweet blade.
A dream of a save world
In which can save me.
Reality hits me now and then
Because you can’t.
You would have to search
For every piece of my broken soul.
I can’t make you do that
All those shards could cut you
But we can’t both bleed.
What shall I do?
Wait until you can save me?
Save me and my soul?
I had that I can only deny this love to you
Because this love destroyed me
You broke me, you are the only one who can fix me.
Broken and despisedLittle girl
Once so inocent
Now broken to the core
Of her very being
Her once free mind
Now trapped in a nightmare
Her once pure heart
Shattered into tiny pieces
Her once hopeful soul
Overwhelmed by darkness and despair
And no one notices
Because she hides her scars
Under long sleeves
Because she hides her pain
Behind a fake smile...
Killing me softly with loveYou gonna have to rip my heart
I don’t like its beat
It’s getting weak
So rip it, tear it apart
You gonna have to burn my soul
I don’t want her to be reborn
Burn it down, do it slow
Let me enjoy the show
You gonna have to finish me
Can you do it beautifully?
In a certain way, romantically
Cause I want to die gracefully
Part by part I cut myself
It’s beautiful, in certain way
Tears are bloody
In all their glory
As I vanish in my sleep
Going down beneath
I’m reaching out to breathe
It’s too late, you finished me…
Coming BackYou looked at me with sunset eyes
Teeming with an ocean’s depth
Waves were crashing down your cheeks
Tears you should have never wept
And I heard a sound I’ll not forget
The slamming front door as you left
In shock I waited as tragedy unfurled
Denial settled into the silence of my world
Without a glance or shallow sigh
You left me here with no goodbye
But in my heart there grew an ache
A pain that, most nights, keeps me awake
And now I finally realize
What I saw in those shining eyes
Not the sunset; the sunrise
So this was never a goodbye
This was letting go.
And now I’m coming back.
Love Me.She falls asleep most every night
To the sound of her parents pointless fight
And clinging tightly to her tear soaked pillow
She goes to school most every day
Wishing she could run away
From all those who torture her
For not being ‘cool’
Her mother, she just plain ignores her
Her father’s never even there
Who would notice if she were gone?
Who would even care?
She just wants to make it quick
To take this razor as her friend
And feel its tender loving kiss
Pressed against her paper skin
She just wants to make it stop
The feeling lonely, sad and hated
She holds the blade up to eye level
I don’t know how long she waited
She presses hard against her skin
And lines of ink bleed from the pen
The blade, it rests there on her knee
On her arm she wrote
Broken SoulMy heart is broken
it will never be repaired
You broke my soul
you broken the promises
I dont know what I did wrong
I dont know how you could do this
My soul is in pieces
I have a breaking bleeding heart
You broken it in pieces
made these tears fall on my face
what did i do...
to deserve so much pain
You hurt my soul
you made my heart bleed
You have no idea
of the damages you have caused
why didnt you tell me...
if i hurt you or not
do you even care?
or even love me for that matter
I lost my love
I lost my friends
I wish you understand
of the feelings I have
But just like everyone else
you dont understand
you dont know me...
i wish this pain was no longer here
A breaking hurt
a hurting soul
Love is the pain
there is no more happiness...
IowaIf you visit Iowa,
you'll call her fields empty,
but she wasn't born that way.
A part of her was carved out
when she was ripped between Virginia
and the purple mountains of New Mexico.
Her gold hair, she tore it out when she realized
it didn't make her a princess.
She laid her locks strung along every road
leading somewhere else.
White hairs on her cheeks
are scars from winter.
Her hair darkens with the dampness
of summer rains.
The storms are never silent,
but neither is life when there's a tear
in your childhood where
a parent ought to be.
I've been flooded by Iowa's sorrow.
The only way I can distract her from her own voided landscape
is if I hate myself harder than she cries.
She just wants to fly
and I want to bus or train,
not because I fear death, but because
I want to take living slow.
It's the only way I ever feel.
From the air it's hard to watch Earth's hips move.
But Earth can't compare to the country.
That's my girl.
Full grown even when harvesting season's j
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More